How to write a story about how to lose a cool trillion

Jackie the guy with the bling and cheesy smile and a rug that he got from Wal-Mart comes onto the stage. He is someone trying to be Jackie Mason or is it Gleason, he ain’t made up his mind yet, the audience have. This guy couldn’t warm up a hot dog let alone this crowd. So, he plays with his cuffs, gives him his quick impersonation of Sammy Davis Jnr and has them yawning already.
"You are a tough lot tonite, but I got a story.”
"Oh yeah, you gotta story. I got one for you. You washed up Jackie you sonnofabitch.”
"Hey, look guy, if you wanna be hard, we can take it outside.”
"You go fuck yerself.”
"Harry, it’s you aint it? My own fucking manager screwing me. You can take off those glasses, I’d know those vase handles anywhere.”
"What gives Jackie, at least you got attention.”
"Attention? You giving me tension! ”
"So tell him Jackie, the story.”
"Oh yeah the story?”
"You wanna hear it?”
"Yes!”

"Well this guy he wants to make a fast buck."

"Don't we all!"

"Jesus Harry let me get on with it."

How to write a Mafia Story (ii)

You left Irene standing there pouring all her change into the machine, and now you with the deft movements of a Cinéma vérité director take in all the minute details on the fake brownstone floor, the crud of decades now flattened into the surface of the tiles. You then bring the focus to a group of three elderly men. They are discussing some business in a low voice. One of them through his body language suggests dominance over the others. They are all wearing Moss Brothers' coats imported over twenty years ago. They also go to the same barber. From quite a distance you can smell the same aftershave.
"So Jimmy, you think the boy has the balls?"
"Fuck he has and some more."
"You telling me he has three balls?"
"Knock it off Carlo. We are being serious. The kid is just a cugine"
"Serious, you know the meaning of that fucking word!"
"What did you say?" "Can't hear a darn thing cos of that racket"
"You need a fucking hearing aid."
"So Gina is she still giving you head?"
"Giving me head? Tommy, I ain't had a b-j since Bush told lies."
"Ya kidding me."
"Not after the prostrate job. Like raw meat, it is."